Lessons

I'm not sure why I called this post "lessons" but that is what came to mind so I'm going with it.

This has been a horrid week. Tuesday I started getting sick and I have not been the same since. I went to the doctor Wednesday morning and I'm sorry to say but I don't think he took my sickness very seriously - "a common cold" or "a slight flu" - buddy I had a 102 temp the night before - I don't think its the common cold. I know what it feels like to have the common cold - and this ain't it!! Swine Flu? Maybe...I didn't go and get the test, but it is going around. I'm on the same wavelength as those who feel it is just another flu - at least here in the U.S. - so I'm not worried YET that it will kill me.

I had a slight reprieve from my parenting duties for 24 hours. Madeleine went and stayed with Mackenzy and her mom. They have both been wanting a sleep over for quite some time and we were going to all get together for a play date this weekend so I suggested to Jen that this would be a great weekend for the sleep over and she agreed. Out of the 24 hours to myself I think I slept for 18 of them. That was all I felt like doing - sleeping.

Remember a while back I wrote about coffee - that I was done? Maybe I should call this confessions - I started up again a while back and in fact bought a coffee maker because I was sick of going to purchase a cup of coffee for 1, 2, 3, 4 dollars when it probably costs less than 5 cents a cup when I make it at home. At the time I figured if I was going to give in to my vice, I might as well do it cheaply. The reason I'm telling you this is because along with my flu or whatever it is I have had no money..not a penny..for the last 5 or 6 days. This is nothing unusual, but I make sure that I have milk and this time I didn't. I can't drink coffee without milk or 1/2 and 1/2 so I thought - I'll just give it up again! The timing couldn't have been worse. For the last 2 days and particularly yesterday when I had to pick up Madeleine my head was pounding...I mean migraine, migraine, migraine. If you have ever given up coffee you know what this headache is..and it comes with a nice bout of nausea as well. I borrowed some money yesterday and got some milk and I'm drinking a cup of coffee as we speak. One more day of this pounding and I think I might turn in the towel.

Why I continue to drink coffee when the result of taking off one day is beyond me. I'm questioning my affiliation and and my conversion to mormonism lately but I must say they have a lot of things right - including the "Word of Wisdom" which is a doctrine that states that alcohol, tobacco and drinks such as coffee are not good for the body....and we should refrain from them. In the Word of Wisdom it also states what foods and drinks are good for us. One that I find interesting is that meat should be used sparingly and only in winter. It seems to me that that particular line doesn't get much weight and I wonder why? I've never heard anyone even talk about that part.

I've wanted to give up coffee since I quit smoking at 29. I've given it up many times only to go back to it again. The countless times I have dealt with this headache is beyond me because each time it is so painful and I want to die. Perhaps the lesson is give it up girl - for good! Perhaps I am a masochist.

Have you given up coffee? Have you dealt with this excruciating pain? If you did give it up, did you do it for good? And if so what did you do when that craving..that craving for the pulse of life that comes through you when you take that sip?

Anyway back to being sick. I now have laryngitis. Madeleine has been so worried whether or not I will still be able to take care of her when I'm sick. And now with my voice spiraling on the verge of extinction - for the moment - it has further convinced her that I will not be able to take care of her. Truthfully, I want someone to take care of me and I don't want to take care of her right now...but take care of her I will.

And with that I need to make Madeleine her breakfast and put a smile on my face and try to convince her that I will always to the best of my ability take care of her no matter what.